Conflict of Emotion
by SiriusBlack394
Summary: Peter Pettigrew flees before Sirius Black is able to confront him and before he could fake his death. Harry grows up with Sirius and Remus Lupin acting as father figures. Both of them attempt to shield Harry as best they can from the knowledge of Voldemort's inevitable return, which comes sooner than expected. Will Harry be able to live up to the pressure of being "The Chosen One"?
1. The survivor

Sirius Black stood in disbelief in front of his friends' destroyed home in Godric's Hollow. His mind was not able to process what his eyes were seeing. _No, please, no,_ he silently pleaded to any god listening. He refused to believe that his best mate and his family were now nothing but bodies. And young Harry, only 15 months old, only just starting to experience life. Sirius rarely cried. But he lost his resolve as the truth finally sunk in: the closest thing he ever had to a family no longer existed.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a baby's cry, one that was a little too familiar. _No,_ thought Sirius, _no. It couldn't be him. It couldn't be Harry._ _Voldemort never leaves survivors. He never shows mercy. Nothing can stop him from murdering a baby._

He heard it again: the soft, heartbreaking cry of a child. He had heard that same angelic voice before. There was no doubt in his mind to whom it belonged.

He sprinted as fast as he possibly could into the ruins of once a beautiful home. _How could Harry have survived? What in the world could have stopped the darkest wizard to have ever lived to spare him?_ As soon as he entered the house, he saw something that made his heart stop for a moment. Sirius ran up to the body of his best mate. _I can't do this,_ he thought. _This is too much to handle_. Suddenly he forgot about Harry. He took James's face in his hands. It was still warm. There were fear and determination etched into it. His eyes were open. Sirius reached out and closed them. _Oh Prongs, how could this have happened? How could the life such a strong man be taken away? He was too young to die. James Potter was on top of the world._

For the second time, his thoughts were interrupted by the same cry. This time, he ran up the stairs with no distractions to find his godson crying in his crib. Before him lay his mother. Sirius went over to the crib and took crying Harry into his arms.

Sirius was instantly brought back to the memory of holding his godson for the first time. Harry had been crying just moments before when Wormtail was holding him, but he had stopped as soon as he saw Sirius's eyes.

Wormtail.

Realization coursed through every cell in Sirius's body. Peter had given Voldemort the location of the Potters' home. It was under the Fidelius Charm. Only the Secret Keeper could have told him. _How could he? He was their friend!_

Sirius could feel nothing but anger.

"Sirius Black. I didn' think I'd see yeh here. Oy! Is tha' the boy? Harry?" Sirius turned around at Hagrid's voice and nodded. "Dumbledore told me ter fetch him and ter brin' him to his aunt and uncle's home in Surrey."

Sirius understood that Albus Dumbledore knew better regarding where to bring Harry than he did. He was sure that the greatest wizard in the world had a good reason to have Harry stay with his relatives. Dumbledore always had a purpose behind every action. But he didn't fully trust Hagrid with Harry's life. Sirius was Harry's chosen guardian in case this would happen and he loved him as much James and Lily did. He would die to keep him safe.

"Maybe I ought to do it," said Sirius. "He's my godson."

"I know, I know. But Dumbledore told me ter bring him straight to his muggle relative's place no matter what. I must follow his orders. It's Dumbledore we're takin' about! Don't you worry, he'll be safe with me."

Sirius decided that it was useless arguing with a man who practically worshiped Dumbledore, with good reason, and would do anything to fulfill his orders. "Oh alright. How are you planning on traveling?"

"I'm supposed ter be flyin' on an enlarged broomstick."

"No! That's too dangerous!" An idea suddenly sprang to his mind. "Have my motorcycle." He pointed to it through the window. "I won't be needing it any longer."

"Well I suppose tha's a better idea, is'n it?"

"Please keep him safe, Hagrid." Sirius looked at James's son. He already resembled his father, except for his eyes. He had his mother's eyes.

Harry had stopped crying. He was looking expectantly at Sirius. "I'll see you later kiddo. Be strong."

At that Harry yawned deeply and shut his eyes. He was asleep in a matter of seconds. Sirius handed him over to Hagrid. "Alright. Goodbye for now." And with that, he apparated out, revenge on this mind.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was not stupid. He knew that as soon as Sirius learns about what had happened, he would go after him. Sirius put too much stock in friendship. Peter had long figured out that he was alone in life and that caring for others won't do him any good. Why risk dying for others when you can protect yourself? As soon as he had been made Secret Keeper for the Potters, he had known that he would have to betray his old friends. A small part of him was guilty of what he had done; after all, James, Sirius, and Remus were the only friends he had ever had, but he knew that if he kept the secret, the Dark Lord would find out and kill him. He had been feeding his master information for six months now. Every time, he had felt him search his mind for signs of wavering loyalty. The Dark Lord knows when he is being lied to. The Dark Lord knows everything. Peter was not ready to risk his life. He was not as stupid as Sirius.

No, Peter would not wait for Sirius to avenge James, Lily, and his godson. He would flee straight away. With a flick of his wand, he transformed into his animagus form and sped away in search for his master.

* * *

Remus Lupin was reading _The Daily Prophet_ late at night on Halloween. Living in a Muggle neighborhood had prevented him from being able to enjoy a nice calm night, so he relished these rare moments of relaxation. A long day of fighting the Death Eaters exhausted him. He and Sirius had been quickly assigned to guard a family of Muggles. Mad-eye Moody had strong suspicions that they were next in line to be targeted by the Death Eaters. This puzzled Remus; Voldemort did not usually plan attacks on random Muggles. But Moody's suspicions proved correct: when they arrived at the home, they were greeted with the Dark Mark.

Remus sighed. The memory of seeing those poor innocent Muggles made his sick to his stomach. He could not shake off the guilt that he was not able to save them. He turned the page of the Prophet and gasped. The Muggles that he had failed to save were the parents of none other than Lily Potter.

Before he could digest what he had just read, he heard a loud pop in the kitchen followed by a loud yelp.

"Remus! Is Pettigrew here?"

"Sirius, is that you?" Remus rose from his armchair and ran to the kitchen. "Sirius! The Muggles that died today, the one's we were supposed to protect, they're Lily's parents, Padfoot. We let Lily's parents die!"

"Oh, fuck. Dumbledore hasn't told you yet. Remus, Lily and James are dead. Peter betrayed them, that rat. James and Lily made him the Secret Keeper instead of me; I was too obvious and didn't trust myself to not break under torture. We didn't tell anyone - not even Dumbledore. Anyway, I searched his apartment – nothing. That coward fled!"

"…What do you mean they're dead? Stop joking around Sirius, it's not funny!"

"Moony, I'm not fucking joking. Go see for yourself. Only baby Harry's survived."

Remus felt like the life has been sucked out of him. The last time he felt this way was when his father had died. His head felt dizzy and he was losing his balance.

"A-are you sure?" he asked quietly, lowering himself into a chair so to not lose balance.

"Y-yes. Listen. We don't have time. We have to find Pettigrew and kill him for what he did. Are you coming with me?"

"Yes, of course." His grief transformed to burning rage. How could Wormtail betray his friends like that? Sirius grabbed his arm and they disapparated.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 coming soon!


	2. The rat

So here's chapter 2. Hope you like it! :)

* * *

Albus Dumbledore sat in his office at Hogwarts, having just sent off Hagrid to fetch young Harry Potter and bring him to number 4 Privet Drive, where his only remaining family resided. Albus had placed many detection charms on the Potters' home in Godric's Hollow, and he immediately knew what had happened and which people the Fidelius Charm had failed to protect. Lily and James Potter were dead. Harry Potter miraculously survived.

His charms had given him the identity of the invader of the home, but also showed that Voldemort's body had disappeared, just vanished. He couldn't have apparated away; the anti-apparition wards were still in place.

Albus did not know how the boy could have thwarted Voldemort's plan, but he knew that Voldemort was not dead, far from it. He knew Tom Riddle better than he could ever imagine.

Albus stopped himself before his thoughts roamed too far. _I have to focus on the matter at hand: Lily and James's death._ How did Voldemort break the Fidelius Charm? Surely Sirius Black hadn't revealed the location to Voldemort; that was impossible. Albus always admired Sirius's unwavering loyalty to his friends. Sirius would rather die than betray his friends; Albus knew that for certain.

* * *

"Sirius, why are we here?" whispered Remus. They were standing in Hogsmeade facing Hogwarts. It was pitch black and would have been a beautiful night if not for the fact that two of their best friends had been murdered and another one caused that murder.

"We've got to start somewhere."

"Do you think he'll be in the Shrieking Shack? Wouldn't he have known it would be the first place we'd check?"

"He has nowhere else to go. I've heard that his _master_ has disappeared."

"Wha-at? Voldemort's gone? How?"

"Something about Harry stopped him. I don't know what it was, but he couldn't kill him."

"Hold on. How do you know all this?"

"I set up some charms. So did Dumbledore. I thought he would contact the Order straight away."

"So where is Harry now?"

"Hagrid is bringing him to Lily's sister. Remember her? She was at James's wedding. Married to an arse of a husband. Nasty people."

"Why can't Lily's parents…" Remus then remembered why Harry couldn't stay at his maternal grandparents' home. He tried to shake away the guilt.

"After we expose Pettigrew and make him confess, Harry can grow up with me. After all, I'm his godfather and I promised James I would take care of his son if anything happened."

They set off to the Whomping Willow at a quick pace, each deep in thought. How was Harry able to survive and defeat the darkest wizard of all time? It made absolutely no sense.

They had just entered Hogwarts grounds when a shocking realization crept into Remus's mind. "Why didn't you tell me that you weren't the Secret Keeper?"

There was an extended silence. Then Sirius spoke: "I'm sorry, Moony, I really am. We knew there was a traitor among us; I mean, how else was Voldemort constantly a step ahead of us? Honestly, it didn't seem very likely that any member of the Order was a spy; Dumbledore _was_ very selective. But we noticed how you were spending a lot of time with the other werewolves _,_ the more _extreme_ type. Well, we didn't have to rack our brains to figure out which side _they_ were on. I will always regret ever suspecting you, Remus, really. But if you look at things from our perspective, you _were_ the most likely candidate to have switched sides."

Remus felt like he was punched in the stomach. Many times. His best friends, the other Marauders, didn't trust him. Not only did he lose two of them that night, they had died thinking that Remus was a traitor.

* * *

Severus Snape could not stop thinking about Lily. It was almost midnight on Halloween and he was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep.

Voldemort was after Lily and it was his fault. The guilt ate him up inside until he could no longer bear it. _Damn it, Severus. Why? Why did I ever choose to go down this path? I sacrificed the only meaningful relationship I've ever had with anyone. And for what? To join a cause that believed the love of my life to be worthless?_

He sat up and turned his bedside lamp on. He was about to get out of bed for a good bottle of whiskey when he felt his Dark Mark burn more severely than it had ever before.

Without thinking, he threw on his robes and stepped into the fireplace. His last words before he dropped the Floo Powder into the ashes were: "Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts."

* * *

"Severus! I was just about to contact you!"

"Dumbledore, my Mark. There's something wrong with it. It burned so painfully for a brief moment, then it faded to almost nothing. Look!" He pushed up the sleep of his robes.

"Severus, I don't know how to tell you this. Lily and James are dead. Harry, their son, survived. For reasons Voldemort was not able to foresee, he lost his body in the process of attempting to murder young Harry."

Severus stopped listening as soon as he heard what he had been dreading for weeks. "What do you mean she's dead? They were protected under the Fidelius Charm! … No. It was Black, wasn't it? Black was the Secret Keeper, wasn't he? He gave away the location."

"We don't know how it happened yet. But I don't believe - "

"THAT BASTARD!" And with that he stormed out, a specific location in mind.

* * *

"Well, here we are," said Sirius once they had reached the door to the Shrieking Shack. "Just like the old times." _Except there are only two Marauders left._

Remus reached out to grab the doorknob when he heard someone yell _"Incarcerous"_ followed by " _Expelliarmus"_ and he felt himself being bound in thick ropes and his wand fly out of his pocket.

"Well, look who it is. Our old friend Snivellus," said Sirius.

"Don't look so smug. You're at my mercy, Black. And I know what you've done. You gave the Dark Lord Lily's location, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't! It was Wormtail, you presumptuous arse. And what is it to you? You're one of them for god's sake!"

 _If only you knew,_ thought Severus. "And why should I believe you, Black? Why would Potter make Pettigrew the Secret Keeper over his 'best friend'?"

"I don't know what your deal is, Snivellus. But if you don't let us go right now, I'll - "

And he never got to finish his sentence because, at that moment, a rat slipped underneath the door to the Shrieking Shack and scurried down the dark tunnel.

* * *

Hey guys! Sorry for the short chapter - next one will be longer and less fragmented. Hope you're enjoying the story so far!


	3. Diagon Alley

Hey guys! Here's the next chapter. As always, characters belong to JK Rowling.

* * *

"Rise and shine! We've got a big day ahead of us!" It was 8:30 on a beautiful, sunny late-summer morning. Upon hearing his godfather's thunderous voice, Harry Potter sprang out of bed and ran downstairs. His excitement was almost too much to bear. Today was, indeed, a very big day.

Upon arrival into the kitchen, Harry was Sirius Black and Remus Lupin sitting at the table. "Morning, Sirius. Morning, Remus." The two men smiled at Harry, who was still in his pajamas and had a sleepy look on his face.

"Sleep well, Harry?" asked Remus.

"Merlin, no! All night I was thinking about broomsticks and snitches!"

Sirius smiled. "Understandable! It's not every day that a young man gets his first broomstick." Ever since Harry had mounted Sirius' Comet five years ago, Sirius knew the boy possessed the same skill and love of flying that his father had. The boy had been using Sirius' old broomstick since then, until two weeks ago when a rogue owl had stolen it. Thankfully, the new Nimbus had just been released, and Sirius promised he'd buy it for his godson.

Remus glanced fondly at Harry. "We're heading to Diagon Alley in twenty minutes. Better get ready. We may as well purchase your school supplies if we're already there."

"I'll be getting my wand?"

"Yes. Yes, you will! Hurry up now, we'll be leaving soon." Harry smiled and ran back up the stairs of his godfather's home, his mind whirling with joy.

* * *

Diagon Alley was bustling with activity. Witches and wizards from all over England were shopping in preparation for the upcoming school year. Children were drooling over the new Nimbus 2000 while their parents exchanged gossip. Harry, Remus, and Sirius could not walk two steps without being glanced at by strangers along with inevitable whispers of " _That's him, mom!"_ from not-so-subtle children. But "him" meant something different to the parents than to the children. The children, many of whom were around Harry's age, could not hide their awe in seeing the famous Boy Who Lived. But the parents, while sufficiently enthralled by the young boy, were even more so by his companion, Sirius Black.

Not only was Sirius the Head Auror, he was also wildly attractive. His high cheekbones and defined jawline were classic Black family traits. His intense eyes and warm smile made the witches swoon and the wizards frown in admiration. He never failed to impress his audience with his exceptional dueling skills and personality. Most of all, however, his fatherly love towards Harry pulled the strings of every witch's heart.

Sirius and Harry were accustomed to the attention. Remus was not. He looked nervously around at the onlookers, until he spotted the bookstore. "I'll get your books, Harry. Where is the list?"

"Here it is, Moony," said Sirius, reaching into his robes and extracting the piece of parchment and a galleon.

"No, no, I'll pay" Remus's face turned red with embarrassment.

"Suite yourself," shrugged Sirius, knowing full well he was going to make a deposit in his friends' vault at Gringotts in half an hour.

* * *

Finally Harry and Sirius reached Ollivander's. They stepped into the empty shop, the owner nowhere to be found. "Is anyone here?" asked Sirius.

"I will be with you in a minute!" cried a distant voice from the back of the shop.

"Busy as always" Sirius smiled. He remembered when he bought his first wand with his mother and brother, Regulus. It was one of the select few warm memories he had from his otherwise tumultuous childhood. His wand had chosen him almost instantly. He still had that wand, a -

"Fir and dragon heartstring. Ten and three quarters inches. Hard flexibility. Sirius Black, good to see you."

"Good day, Mr. Ollivander. We're here to buy a wand for by godson, Harry."

Ollivander froze. "Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry…" He turned to the boy, hand outstretched, smiling. "Harry Potter, we meet at last."

"Nice to meet you too, sir." Although familiar with it, Harry was not comfortable under the intense scrunity of the old man's eyes. They were calculating, observing, and judging. Finally he looked away, snapping, "Let's get to business, shall we?"

With surprising speed for such an old man, Ollivander launched himself on the ladder, which hovered over the floor, and slid down the aisle of wands, stopping himself at a certain black box. "Ah, there it is. Let's try it." He took the wand out and handed it to Harry. "Well, don't just stand there! Give it a wave!"

As soon as Harry began to wave the wand, a pair of wine glasses shattered into little glass fragments.

"No, no, no, not that one, I'm afraid!" Ollivander frowned, then lightened up. "What about this one? Maple and unicorn, 11 and a half inches, stiff."

Once again, the wand rejected Harry's wave. Ollivander sighed. "No worries, we will try more wands. Let's not rush the process."

And so Harry waved almost all the wands in the shop. Sirius was growing impatient. Why hadn't a wand chosen Harry yet? He saw the look of disappointment in his godson's eyes after every failed attempt, and it bothered him.

Ollivander was becoming restless as well. He was surprised that no wand had showed interest in young Harry Potter. He expected Harry would naturally attract the most potent wand. Well there was one powerful he hadn't yet tried….

As a last resort, he took out his most potentially dangerous wand. This wand had severe implications for its owner, so the wand maker had not been tempted to offer it to any customer.

With unease, he gave it to Harry, and as soon as it touched Harry's fingertips he knew its allegiance was with the Boy Who Lived.

"Interesting, very interesting," he couldn't help but utter.

"What's interesting?" inquired Sirius, who was delighted that the look of anxiety had left Harry's features.

"This wand, well the _core_ of this wand is a phoenix feather. A very special phoenix feather indeed…"

"How so?"

"The phoenix who gave the feather that I used to make this wand gave one other feather. Just one. And it resides in the wand of the wizard who gave you that scar," said Ollivander grimly, pointing to Harry's forehead.

" _Voldemort?"_ Harry was shocked. He didn't know what this meant. How could his wand be so similar to that of his mortal enemy, the wizard who murdered his parents in cold blood?

"You speak his name!" exclaimed the wandmaker. He felt a surge of admiration for the young Potter. He saw the defiance in his eyes, and knew that if, _when,_ the time came, Harry Potter will be emotionally strong enough to accept the consequences of the Dark Lord's wrath.

* * *

Harry and Sirius stepped out of the shop and headed toward the bookstore to search for Remus. As they passed Madame Malkin's, Harry perceived a boy with bleach blond hair walking toward him. He wore a smirk on his pale face, and walked with an air of confidence. With him was a man with the same color hair but longer, and the same arrogant and self-assured demeanor. Next to the man was a woman who looked strangely familiar…

"Lucius. Narcissa," stated Sirius sternly. Something seemed to have shifted in the air.

"Hello, cousin," said the woman, who was evidently Narcissa, a stone cold look on her face. She glanced imperceptibly at her relative's companion, her eyes directed at his forehead.

"Hello, Black," spat the man, Lucius. His eyes roamed around, first at Sirius, then at Harry, and for a split second he was taken aback and lost his semblance of control and power, but the moment ended just as abruptly as it began. "Care to introduce us to the kid?" His question was clearly for show rather than for genuine curiosity, as Harry had the feeling the man knew exactly who he was.

"This is Harry Potter," stated Sirius matter-of-factly. "Harry, this is my cousin Narcissa Malfoy, her husband Lucius, and their son Draco."

Harry, not knowing how else to act, outstretched his right arm to the woman, and said, "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Malfoy." Narcissa was baffled; how on Earth could this child have gained such proper manners growing up with someone like Sirius Black?

Sirius, too, was asking himself the same question. He felt a surge of pride for his godson. The best way to enervate your enemy was to kill him with kindness. Although he doubted Harry understood the situation entirely, he had acted as Lily would. Sirius perceived Draco, with a look of bewilderment on his face, and decided to follow Harry's lead.

"Hey, Draco. Preparing to go to Hogwarts, eh? So is Harry here."

"Y—yes." Draco regained his composure. "Yes, I am." His smirk reappeared as he turned to face Harry. "I will see you at school." And with that he entered Madam Malkin's, presumably to buy another expensive black robe, already suited with a green and silver emblem.

* * *

Stay tuned for the rest of the encounter between Sirius and the Malfoys? What do you think will happen?


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